Brecken Calin Baer: Our Birth Story

Well, as I said in the last blog post, “I cannot wait to reveal my last blog post in this series, next week. And yes, it will be next week because I’m down to weeks now till we meet our beautiful little girl and I can’t guarantee it would ever get written after she’s here 😊.”

Well…..she came not even a week after that post went live.

No, this is not the end of our IVF story, but I can’t move on, acting like I didn’t have a baby in between now and then and not document that, because again, God showed up.

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Ever since I was put into the hospital on July 15th, my amniotic fluid was being checked weekly. After the “magnesium wash,” I was doing well and the fluid was 10.5. Then it dropped to 7. Then it went back up. Then it dropped to 7.5. Then….August 11th, I went in for a 3:00 p.m. ultrasound, contractions monitor, doctor consult and my fluid was down to 4.

The ultrasound tech – one of my favorites because she’s been there with us through this whole ordeal from ultrasound one till now – said:

“I would be prepared for you to be having a baby really soon.”

Me: “Really? Why?”

Tech: “Because your fluid is down to 4 and he’ll likely put you in the hospital.”

Sadly, I kind of expected this way back in my mind, but thought he may let me go home, get my things, and we both come back to the hospital that night.

Nope.

They wheeled me to the labor and delivery floor right away and after I was all hooked up and lying in the bed, I called Andy.

“Babe. I’m at the hospital. They took me.”

“What? Do I need to come now? Is this urgent? I’m underneath a hoe with oil all over me and I need to shower first before I fly down the road.”

“No, no. They’re just keeping me overnight, but we’re having a baby tomorrow.”

“Okay. Well, send me your list of things you need brought and I’ll be up there as soon as I can.”

Luckily I had already packed my hospital bag, minus the toiletry bags that you have to still use out of until that time comes, but there were nurse appreciation baskets I had made, the car seat wasn’t installed yet because we thought we had just a few more days. The list went on….

At 9:00 p.m., he shows up with all the stuff plus “my last meal before delivery,” a McDonald’s crispy chicken sandwich. Man, does he know me well.

We talked, looked at all the lines on the monitors and tried to get some sleep. I actually got sleep that night – about six hours – but Andy said he was awake most of the night, worried about tomorrow.

You see, we both had situations in our past that made us scared of what all could happen in delivery. One of my very best friends carried a beautiful baby boy full-term, no problems with pregnancy, and within ten hours, he was gone, back to his Creator. It was devastating for us all…not just them. See, this was a couple that everyone loved and wanted the best for, wanted them to have it ALL. Everyone still does. We were all so excited for their new bundle of joy to be added to their already full life, and Sawyer’s death rocked our community in a way we never imagined. Thankfully, God does restore and they’ve had two beautiful baby girls since, but the pain is still there. The “whys” were never answered. And although they’ve been blessed with adorable little girls, the longing to have that little boy back in their arms, I’m sure, is still very strong in their minds.

Andy, on the other hand, had a bit of a different story. A friend's sister delivered a child – maybe even twins – and after delivery, said she was tired and needed to take a nap. As any husband would do, he made her comfortable and waited for her to wake up. She never did. There was a issue with her epidural and the way it was inserted and not cleaned prior to, which caused her to be infected with meningitis and pass on to the Lord because of that infection. So there sat a husband and his new child…or children….devastated and alone with no answers.

You want to believe pregnancy and delivery is safe, but there are so many things that can go wrong, and he was haunted by those stories all night.

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So we roll around to the next day. 8:00am, Dr. Shockley, my OB-GYN, comes in and says, “Well, we’re going to have a baby. I think around 12:00 noon.” Andy and I look at each other with this “Yikes, really” look, mixed with a bit of excitement.

At this point, I am dialated to a five, and after a few more “tweaks” by the doctor, he breaks my water and they start the Pitocin. I have heard this drug talked about, but never really asked what it was or what it did. I had heard people saying they started the Pitocin and then they didn’t have a baby for MANY hours later, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but quickly, the contractions came on, and within about 20 minutes they were two minutes apart and just getting more and more intense.

My epidural was then requested 😊. Personally, I don’t know why you wouldn’t get one, but granted, I only experienced “labor pains” for a very short time. Nonetheless, I was hanging on the bed rail when they’d come on, so I was happy to have some relief.

That brings us to almost 9:00am when the anesthesiologist comes in, administers my epidural which was almost painless. And again, I have heard stories about it not working, or only working on one side, or hurting when they did it, so I was a bit apprehensive, but it went beautifully.

Almost as soon as the epidural was administered, my labor and delivery nurse, Brittany (who rocked, by the way), said, “We’re going to put you on all fours and have you hold that position for about an hour. I’ll come back in and check you to see how much progress we’ve made then” So, I hold that position for an exact hour. You know, an hour seemed like a long time, but Andy and I talked for a bit during the time lapse, and before you knew it, she was back in to check me.

She rolls me over, checks the dilation and says, “Um, I can’t find your cervix. We’re having a baby….like now.” This was 10:00am.

She leaves the room to call Dr. Shockley.

She comes back in with the whole team, they click in the stirrups, and wait for the next contraction. It passes – and luckily I feel no pain – and she says, “Okay, on the next one, we need you to push. We’re going to do three pushes back to back and then you can rest till the next one.” The contraction begins and they’re chanting “Push, push, push. And again….”

I pushed about six different sets of three and at 10:21, Brecken Calin Baer was born into this world!

It happened so, so fast that both Andy and I couldn’t believe it. When she came out, he said “Oh, my gosh,” almost like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing….that a real baby had formed in there, and the tears started to flow.

My husband is a feeler. He can seem like a real man’s man, gruff, to the core, hardworking and tough, but he’s got the softest side and it comes out at all the right times.

From there, it was a blur, honestly, but I’d have 10 more kids if I could have a labor like that all over again. And I have only God to thank for that.

You see, I was so worried in general, despite the fact that she was three weeks and two days early. Each time one of my co-workers would say, “How many more days do you think," tears began to well up. It was almost as if I was so apprehensive about her finally coming into this world, and I can’t say if it was because of the past stories I mentioned above, but I just didn’t know what to expect. I mean, what is all of this going to feel like? What does a contraction feel like? They’ve said I’ve been having them, but I feel like nothing’s different – no pain, no pressure, no cramping? How will I know when I’m really in labor?

I remember grilling my friend Shannon, who was two weeks ahead of me and had her baby six days after Brecken was born. I said, “I have to come over and talk to you tonight. I have a ton of questions and I need you to help me process this all.” So I grilled her on what things would feel like and asked her to give me examples. I felt somewhat better after the conversation, but was still so anxious.

I remember crying the whole way to work the Friday before I was induced. I prayed, “God, I’m just so scared. I have no idea what to expect and I’m just afraid. Please take this fear from me and let me know that you’re there the whole time. That you’re walking me through, just like everything else.”

Man, did He do exactly that.

He’s the one who made things so easy. He’s the one who ensured we didn’t have anything scary come across the monitor, or that she was in the wrong position, or that my labor was so intense and scary I had to have an emergency c-section. He was there the whole time and gave me the most perfect labor I could have ever asked for!

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So after she’s born, they then clean her off, we do skin-to-skin for about an hour, and then lactation comes in to help with any breastfeeding needs. I never imagined that breastfeeding was going to be easy because I hear it’s a hard commitment more often than not. But I’ve been extremely blessed. She feeds wonderfully, sleeps wonderfully, and I started producing enough right away to start a freezer stockpile for when I go back to work.

We spent two nights in the hospital and she stayed with us the whole time. We wanted to start getting to know her cues right away and she was a great teacher. She only cries when she needs changed, is hungry, or wants to be held. Other than that, she’s chill and just wants to hang out with her parents….daddy mostly.

And, we can’t sing the praises of the WVU Medicine Camden Clark Memorial Hospital labor and delivery and mother/baby staff enough. They were fantastic, answered all of our questions, gave us heads up of what they were doing and why this would work this way, etc. Our baby nurse, Carrie, and I had met years ago at a pageant and she was quick to tell me that she had been following along this whole time with our fertility journey. Immediately, that put me at ease and made me feel like we were, again, in the right hands. My labor nurse, Brittany, was also fantastic! I couldn’t have asked for a more normal, down-to-earth, but patient and understanding nurse than her!

And my night nurse, Natasha, was the best I’ve ever had. Yes, she had to come in and wake me up a few times to do different things, but she was also so soft-spoken, kept all the lights off, and only bugged us when she had to. We were blessed to get to have her our second night on mother/baby and there we got to talking about infertility struggles and found out she and her husband were going through something similar…and that she lived near us! What a small world! We told her that anytime she needed to talk, ask questions, or get together, we were just a few miles away.

All in all, our whole experience couldn’t have been better. We walked out of the hospital on Cloud 9, ready to take our baby home, but feeling like we had the very best care while we were there.

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Brecken turned three weeks old on today, and yes, our life has been turned upside down, but in the best possible way.

Does motherhood feel exactly the way I thought it would? You know, if you had asked me that during the first week, I would have told you, "No. I have no clue what I'm doing, but am just trying to figure it out as each hour passes." But, I think no matter what, you already have this instinct to protect this little person you helped create, but the bond – I believe – is a bit hard to develop in the first few weeks. All I know is that I have never looked at something and loved it so much it hurt. Yes, I see Andy that same way, but like they say, it is different. We’re finally to the point that she knows my voice very well and is comforted when she’s talked to and picked up by us both. But, she’s definitely a daddy’s girl and I’m not jealous in the least. Although, I do think I'll do a blog post on what the first month of motherhood looks like (to me) and describe the time it took to settle into things and how I felt emotionally as each week went by.

Nonetheless, I’ve always heard that you’ll love your spouse more than you ever thought you could once you see them with your child and that’s so, so true. He is her soother, her calmer, her rock. He never wants to be away from her, and if he is, he’s texting “How are my girls doing” just after a few hours of being gone. I’ve never seen him send so many pictures via text, or call so many people, just so he can talk about her with this crazy smile on his face. He’s ate up with “his little baby doll” and my heart is exploding seeing how he’s reacted to a dream come true: Fatherhood.

Feeling like we’re a family has finally set in and I just cannot wait to see how much more she changes as we all grow together.

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In a few weeks, I’ll finish out our IVF Chronicles series. There’s just one more blog post, and for me, it’s probably one of the most important in how God truly works miracles with evidence that His timing is perfect.

From there, I think I’ll just keep this as a family blog – blogging about navigating the changes of becoming a family and mother; how to keep your marriage alive once a little one comes along; our parenting style and what’s working for us and why, etc. But I’m on maternity leave for a little while too and have a ton of home renovations that we’ve completed in our home that I have never documented either.

So we shall see what comes up on this site, but nonetheless, I thank you so much for following along, praying for us, and watching our God-given miracle unfold.

Love all you readers,

Talia